Writing Through the Darkness

An experiment to help overcome PTSD, depression, and anxiety. A way to rediscover the voice lost years ago. A motivational tool to help write the novel that’s haunted me for years.

Mystical Bear is all this and more. I invite you to join me on this journey. I’m not promising an easy go of it, but hopefully you’ll find it worthwhile. And just maybe you’ll find ways to deal with some of your own darkness through the written word.

Your Intrepid Tour Guide

This journey isn’t one that’s primarily theoretical. No siree! Sure, I may back up what I say with some research or statistics, but I’ve either lived through what I talk about or am currently experiencing it. I promise that I’ll be as honest as possible here – neither embellishing nor sugar coating what’s going on in my life at any given time.

With that in mind, let me tell you a little bit more about myself. As with any life, there’s a lot to know and if you stick around, you’re bound to pick up a lot more about me. In the meantime, here’s the general highlights…

Why Mystical Bear?

The Mystical Bear handle has been with me for a long time – almost 35 years or so. Through the years, it’s meaning has changed as I’ve grown in different ways. Still, I won’t, no I can’t, give it up.

I guess I’ve found that the things that were so important to me years ago have fallen by the wayside and have been replaced with a more open-mindedness and ability to live in the gray areas of life. If you’re interested, check out the history of Mystical Bear.

The Project

Take a middle-aged gay man guilt-ridden over the accidental death of his father years ago during an ex-gay session gone bad. Add in a misspoken desire to go back and account for past sins. Locate everything in a world where haunting thoughts and fears become all too real. Mix heartily with meddling entities and reluctant sidekicks.

This is the basis for the story I’m working on, currently titled, Unclean. It entails what happens when someone is forced to confront the ghosts of his past, both literal and figurative, in order to stay sane and alive.

From the Blog

Here’s the latest posts. If you want to read more,
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Writing Process
Where Things Stand

Where Things Stand

It's been a little while since I've posted anything like this (and I wonder if I've ever really posted anything like this). Anyway, I felt I needed to give an update of what's been going on lately with Unclean. (This is kind of a "vomit" draft of what's happening...

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NewsWriting Process


In August, I signed up for my first writing class that involved other people on the site, LitReactor. Called Writing the Weird, the class dealt with the ins and outs of a genre called Weird fiction. When I took it, I wasn't really sure whether it would be useful,...

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Personal LifeWriting Process
Playing Catch-Up

Playing Catch-Up

Emotional Overview A quick check-in showing my current emotional state. (Higher numbers mean greater degrees of emotion.)DepressionAnxietyStressYeah, it’s been a few weeks. Again, all I can say is sorry. Each week, I know I need to write something but it always...

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Want to stay in touch?

I’d be honored to have you as a regular on this journey with me. Just fill out the opt-in form below.

I promise this will be a no-spam, low-volume (usually once-a-month) email letting you know what’s been going on in case you haven’t been around lately. Thanks again!

“What makes writing dangerous is something personal, very small, and quiet…to go to parts of ourselves where there is an old silence, where it is secret, where it is dark and sore…to go to where we’ve never gone before, writing down what scares the hell out of us. Eventually to the very foundation and structure of how we perceive, and in this investigation, we can challenge old notions of who we are.”

~ Tom Spanbauer

Image Attributions

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Image by Mika Suutari

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