A quick check-in showing my current emotional state. (Higher numbers mean greater degrees of emotion.)
- Depression 20% 20%
- Anxiety 40% 40%
- Stress 40% 40%
This week was another good week. We actually had a sunny day that my spouse and I took advantage of. We took our dog, Nita, out for a walk in one of the local parks in Everett. She had fun and I (reluctantly) got outside and actually enjoyed myself. Spring is just around the corner which helps my mood tremendously.
Anxiety and Stress
Things were stressful at the beginning of the week although the level had greatly decreased by the end. As I’m writing this, they’re probably at the lowest they’ve been for a while. Knock on wood.
My spouse heard more concerning his health issues and it looks like he’s having “urgent” surgery soon. He will then be completely off from work for two weeks; then, there’s an additional 6 weeks of extremely limited duties which basically means he’s off for the next 2 months or so. I’m not so concerned about that – it’s just the surgery and all that entails. (He’s never had any surgery before so he’s feeling some stress himself.) Plus, his COVID vaccination keeps being postponed so it’s still up in the air when it will actually take place. Right now it’s set for March 14, although this is the third date he’s been given for it. Hopefully he’ll be able to get it soon.
I still don’t know when my phase will even begin – even thought I’m 62 and a pre-diabetic. C’mon WA – it’s really frustrating when you see red states out there that seem to be vaccinating folks left and right.
Work has kinda been all over the place. I heard last weekend that I was starting to work my second shifts on Thursday and Friday so I assumed that meant I had fully transferred to that time slot. Then I find out, no, it just meant I was working second shift those 2 days, then third shift on Saturday and Sunday. Initially my stress level peaked upon hearing that but after working it this weekend, I’m seeing some of the benefits of this schedule. I’m able to write quite a bit on the weekend shifts, both because they’re less busy but also because they’re longer. (12 versus 8 hours). Now, I’m thinking about asking for this to be made permanent. We’ll see.
The biggest events revolved around this web site. After working through the first two sessions of Lauren Sapala’s You Are A Writer video class, I thought I was ready to move on to session 3. However, things kept bubbling up inside. After writing a somewhat revealing email to Lauren herself, I began to see that I still had some work to do around the issue of enmeshment.There was even some initial thoughts about ditching the whole novel for a memoir instead. Still, I’ve come to care about my characters a lot and feel like I would be abandoning them and their stories if I did that. So, I’m sticking with the original plan.
However, I still felt like I needed to get some things out in the open.The result? The five part series I just wrapped up titled, “Out From the Shadows”. Even though I gave lip service to Lauren’s ideas in my previous reactions to the first two sessions of her class, I clearly began to see the implications of what she was saying. Next thing I know, I’m spilling my guts about things that I thought would stay hidden for a while longer, illustrating them with photos from my past. I haven’t totally removed the anonymity barrier I had originally imposed on the site but it’s quickly deteriorating.
Also, Lauren recently named Mystical Bear as one of the 13 Best Resources for Writers and Creatives of the INFJ and INFP Personality Types. Of course I was pretty stoked to see that, especially after just starting the site. Plus, I was also invited to write a guest post for Ritu Kaushal’s site for Highly Sensitve People, Walking Through Transitions. I’ll be wrapping that up this week and will let everyone know when it will be available.
Things are getting very exciting for me and I’m beginning to realize some of my writing dreams. And that really helps boost my mood and calm me down.
Photo by Anders Gilden on Unsplash